A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The owner says, "How about a cat?"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what's going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The man says, "Hey!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just putting on my shoes!"