A man walks into a pub, and approaches the bar. ©OFFICEJOKES.NET

He orders a pint and looks down to see a bowl of peanuts on the counter. ©OFFICEJOKES.NET

He decides to eat one, when he picks it up and goes to put it in his mouth the peanut says "hello handsome"! So he puts the peanut down in astonishment.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

He decides to try one more time. ©OFFICEJOKES.NET

And yet again the peanut talks "ooh you are gorgeous". ©OFFICEJOKES.NET

Well as you can imagine he was really stunned.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

He then decides to go over to buy some cigarettes from the dispenser. ©OFFICEJOKES.NET

He drops in a pound and the machine spits it out and tells him to "go away ugly"! This really shocked the man so he goes up to the barman and says" why is it, when I pick up the peanuts from the bar they are really nice to me, yet when I try to get some cigarettes from the machine it tells me I'm ugly"?©OFFICEJOKES.NET

Ah well the barman replies..."THE PEANUTS ARE COMPLIMENTARY AND THE CIGARETTE MACHINE IS OUT OF ORDER"!