"?"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"Just how big were those two beers?"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"?"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."