Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses: ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
4. "Were you alone or by yourself?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
6. "Did he kill you?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
9. "How many times have you committed suicide?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "Yes." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
11. Q: "She had three children, right?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "Yes." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "How many were boys?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "None." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "Were there any girls?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" A: "Yes." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "I went to Europe, sir." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "And you took your new wife?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "By death." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "Was this a male or female?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "Oral." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "I have been since early childhood." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "No." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "No." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "Did you check for breathing?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "No." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "No." ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?" ©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere".
