Practical English for Travellers Some 'genuine' translations from around the world...©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel notice, Tokyo: IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTIS.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel brochure,Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel elevator, Belgrade: TO MOVE THE CABIN, PUSH BUTTON FOR WISHING FLOOR. IF THE CABIN SHOULD ENTER MORE PERSONS, EACH ONE SHOULD PRESS A NUMBER OF WISHING FLOOR. DRIVING > IS THEN GOING ALPHABETICALLY BY NATIONAL ORDER.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel lift, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel, Athens: VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9 AND 11 AM DAILY.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Sign in men's toilet in Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Taken from a menu, Poland: SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN UP IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Dry cleaner's, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Tailor shop, Rhodes: ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH, WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Advert for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?©OFFICEJOKES.NET
In the window on a Swedish furrier: FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.©OFFICEJOKES.NET
Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
