Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
Plato

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
His reply

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Deep Thought, Jack Handy

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. --For Whom the Bell Tolls,
Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson