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Lawyer Jokes / In Court Joke
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.
Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: All your responses must be oral, okay?What school did you go to? A: Oral.
Q: How old is your son - the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, sir. Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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