Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends were.
"Horrible," said Johnny. "A car hit my cat in the ass!"©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"Rectum," said the teacher. "Say rectum."©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

Red Ribbon Blue Ribbon©OFFICEJOKES.NET

This lady goes to a vet and learns that that if you put a ribbon around a snoring dog''s penis he''ll roll over and stop snoring.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The next night her dog is snoring so she goes to the kitchen and gets a red ribbon and ties it around her dog''s penis. His snoring stopped.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

Later on that night her husband is snoring and so she goes to the kitchen and gets a blue ribbon and ties it around her husband''s penis, and he stops snoring.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

The next morning her husband wakes up and looks at his dog and looks down at himself.©OFFICEJOKES.NET

"I don''t know what happened last night, but it appears we came in first and second."