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  • Bar Jokes / Two Scotsmen Joke
    Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years.

    One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize.

    Immediately, Jock says "Open it up and we'll have a dram."

    "Naw, ah'm goin' tae save it for a special occasion."

    Birthdays came and went, his anniversaries came and went, but Jock could never get Angus to open the bottle.

    Finally Angus had a heart attack, and was laying on his deathbed.
    He motioned for his old friend to come closer.
    "Jock, remember that rare bottle of Scotch I won?"

    "Aye, ah certainly do, Angus!"

    "Weell, ah like ye tae do me a favor Jock, my dear friend."

    "Aye, anything ye ask Angus."

    "When ah'm dead, wid ye take that bottle an' open it up--"

    "Aye, Angus, then what?"

    "Wid ye pour it over ma grave?"

    "Pour it over yer grave? My god Angus. It's 40 year old Scotch! But I'll do it for ye."

    "Oh, ye're a real pal Jock, and ah'll appreciate that."

    Jock says,
    "There's just one thing Angus, wid ye mind if ah filter it through my kidneys first?"

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